30 – 11- 2009
It have been a while since I wrote anything in here and the reason that made me search for my diary everywhere was a movie called " Zay Enharda". I found my diary in my pink box " my memory box" I took the diary and removed the dust on the cover with my hand and started writing… it was a great movie actually I cried when you realize how the past keep playing with your present and future and how we refuse to let go of it… how hard is it for us to face all of that!!!
The last scene of the movie when she knew that her brother is going to kill her beloved and when she knew that if she went there she will be killed for believing that the future is all about the past. Although that entire she ran, she ran as fast as she can just to face her density or was that her choice!!?
I don’t know if we can choose what we will face or how we can deal with what's in our life!
I heard a theory that what we can't choose is just 10% of our life and what we can choose; the other 90% is just our reaction to that 10% we can't choose!!
Sometimes I feel that life is so damn complicated and other times it gets so simple so simple that freaks you out!!
So was it written for me to watch this movie today so I can go and search for my diary and write that?!! Or simply I choose to write about the corner of life I didn’t see before and maybe and only maybe someone read and see what I can see now and it will make a different. I don't know and I don't know if I supposed to know after all.
All I'm thinking about now is trying to figure out how people fall in and out of love for more than one time by their choices or like they said everything happen for a reason!! I mean I have been in one love story and I'm lost, broken and confused and yet in love so did I choose the wrong person or the wrong place and time? Or maybe it was written for me to feel that way so I can get out or solve what we face then I'll know that I'm in the right place!! I really don't know its all about what we think and what we believe… they say you see all the answer in front of your eyes while taking the last breathe …and yet we choose our last word about what we feel.