Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Moving On ..

Its the most messy note u will ever read but that's what i feel is the begining of my new diary a whole new but i wouldnt throw the old one yea it has lots of sadness,heart breaks and way lots of tears but it also has the most joyfull moment of my life wat has gone has never been less important than wats comming bec it defind apart of u ,apart u wanna keep or wanna fix.
its crazy 2 realize that things become so clear in the middle of ur darkness & how can u become stronge in the middle of ur weakness.
how chocies can change ur whole life not 4 better nor the worse but 4 the new of u 2 take wat u need not wat u want...
so i'll begin wiz my messy start bec i'm not seekin 4 perfection but 4 the better..
if it rains on me who cares..rain is joyfull i'll dance ..
if it gets dark who cares dark is peaceful i'll rest and count the stars..
if i'm lost i'll ask a friend 2 lead 2 show me the right road.
and if i'm whole alone thats how life tells me 2 stand & carry on its ur turn 2 build ur self &lead it,2 hold 2 ur beliefs
We forgot that we r humans must fall & raise and we must ask god 2 give us the ability 2 stand strong in the middle of the battle dosent matter 2 lose or won but 2 believe!
One of my biggest lessons of my life is 2 be myself ,love who i'm ,not faking wat most ppl wants and if i'm lucky enough i'll feel the poweful wind of love & acceptance.
so i'll love as long as i breathe
forgive as long as i live..
As i told ya i'm movin on ;)
Nahla ali

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Left in the past

It was just like today…the day we were sitting here alone nothing but the sound of the sea and the shinning stars

I was just right here and he was just right there beside me, holding me tight that I could hear his heart bits when I looked into his eyes and saw the sparks just like the moonlight and I said “I can’t believe all this love is just for me!!’’ he looked to me and said “nothing is too much for you” then I felt his warm kiss on my forehead.

I took a long and a slow breathes and smelt the salt of the sea. I could feel the cold breath going through my hair making it so messy. It was a cold night and I could feel his tenderness warms me and his love surrounding me. Make me feel alive and fresh.

And now as every breath I take I remember every single memory we had together the laughing and sweet talk and the look on his eyes when he sees me. I lay down on the sand so I could see the stars, and I saw it, I saw the big star it's was very shinning as it always have been, that the star he named after me. If only I could say to her to bring those days back, if only you could tell him that I missed him... I need him … I really do love him. In that moment I realized that he wasn't there at least not with me. I felt so cold and insecure. I stood up and walked toward the sea until my feet toughed the cold water then I kept moving alone on the shore hearing his voice inside my head saying things I never forget. My tears where running on my face like rains. How could I forget those days with him? The days when I just look to him and couldn’t do anything but to smile as some joys are better expressed in silence as a smile holds more meaning than words. The days when I just look to his eyes and get lost and nothing bring me back to life but his voice. Should I move on in my life? Not without you. Could this pain ever end? Or forever I'll hold. I pick up a small stone from the shore and throw it away in the sea away in the dark away from everyone, could our love just disappear like the stone in just few seconds going down to the deep bottom of the sea. Yes our love will be just a memory left in the past. But May never a moment go by without you in side my heart.

Nahla ali